I Love You (But I'd Trade You for a Fruit Stand)

from by Scott Reu

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2017. After my divorce, I went to Los Angeles to visit my dad. We took a drive from L.A. to Big Bear Lake, by way of San Bernardino. It's a four hour drive through some mountains, and my dad was in a 1972 El Camino with an original, malfunctioning radio. We got caught in a rainstorm and my dad nearly perished, but when we emerged from the storm, he told me that he had heard a song on the radio, through the din of the storm and the static. He said the the lyrics sounded like "I love you, but I'd trade you for a fruit stand." I told him that that probably hadn't been the real lyric, but I allowed that his misheard lyric probably deserved to be in a real song. So I wrote it for him.


The first time I laid eyes on you, you were
sweeter than a Carolina peach.
I was never much for stone fruit,
but you were so easy to reach.

I loved you so long,
didn't ever want to quit,
but that's the thing about peaches:
there ain't one without a pit,
and that's all you left me with, baby
(that and sticky hands).

And, honey, you know I love you, but I'd trade you for a fruit stand.

That summer we spent up in New York,
you were the apple of my eye.
But you're just like a red delicious:
every part of you is a lie.

I gave you my heart.
I gave you my hand.
You treated me rotten.
I know you understand,
we can't elope, now.
You'd best go pick another man.

And, honey, you know I love you, but I'd trade you for a fruit stand.

Can't think anymore:
what was your appeal?
Your heart is just a raisin,
and my love was a 2-for-1 deal.

I don't mean to sound bitter,
but you're awful, right down to the core.
Honey: do me a favor.
Don't come 'round here anymore.

You know, sometimes I still think about
the time before we called it quits.
Well, if you'll pardon the expression:
it really was the pits.

You thought I was stupid,
I thought you were sweet,
and just like the local agrarian sector,
I'm getting back on my feet.
I'm going down to Camarillo
to find a little patch of land.

And, honey, you know I love you, but I'd trade you for a
You were a bad apple, and I'd trade you for a
That marriage was a lemon! It bought the farm! And I'd trade you for a
You took me for pomegranted, and I'd trade you for a
No sour grapes over here! And I'd trade
you for a fruit stand.


from Little Bird, released November 16, 2018
Vocals, Acoustic Guitar: Scott Reu
Electric Bass, Electric Guitar, Moog: James Riotto
Drums: Jason Slota


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Scott Reu Boulder, Colorado

Scott Reu has been making original music since 2008. In 2018, Scott released a new album under the musical nom de guerre "Haunted Horse."

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